[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Thursday, August 28, 2008

[[To denise:]]

Today is a day that i get back my ppr. Compared it to last term there is an improvement but somehow is not a big one. I should have expected it anyway. How much effort i have put into it = the results.

Anw something happen in CO today. Well here is something I found on the web.

我后悔，没有给自己买一张车票

就这样，我无法等到雪花的飘落

相遇和离别，都让我记忆，频频回头

我需要这些沧桑，滋润以后的岁月

我承认，作为故事的主角，一直期待

在某个日子，敲开你思念的房门

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:19 PM|

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

[[teachers]]

Teachers' Day is just a few days from now, do you have any plans on what you are giving to your teacher? hmph...i realise that as we grow older, students tend to become lazier and lazier in buying presents. They find it bothersome to choose a suitable present for the person. Since is so ma fan, they might as well dont buy!

oh well above all is just crap.... =.= Anyway yup Teachers' Day is coming but teachers' are leaving.....so who shall our presents be given to? i just feel so sad at the thought that all the nice nice teachers are leaving. Worse still, it seems like every year they will be teacher who is teaching me leaving me the next year. :(
Sec 1: mrs agnes seet, mr choo, art teacher(forget her name...) and this science teacher
sec 2: miss stella su, cheng fang lao shi, miss lai pek yee(not sure spell correct a not..), miss lee siu fong, art teacher again...
sec 3: mr johnny hoo, mr gan, wang li juan lao shi.......shhhh no saying anymore

These are all the teachers then once taught me before but they have left or are leaving. And to all my primary school teachers who have left me too after teaching me for 1 or 2 years, i wish you a very Happy Teachers' Day! I will always remember you all. A big thank you to you all for imparting me with so much knowledge!

Happy Teachers' Day!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|9:48 AM|

Saturday, August 23, 2008

[[sat...ill~~~]]

*cough*cough* hold on a sec while i go eat my medicine...

I am really sick today. i miss out all the fun to go do CIP with my group which consist of Jayme, Sharlyn and Wendy. Luckily today the cip is combine with 2 other groups, got Weiling's group and Caroline's group. oww.....i really want to go.... :(

Reading through the pres book today and i notice that the red batches comm make a mistake on the batch they suppose to be. they suppose to be the 15th batch but they wrote 14th, i wanted to help them change but realise that i dont have a silver marker or a piece of black paper to cut on...hmmm will think of other ways for that.

The yellow badges haven write on the pres book yet. i guess they are just too busy. hmmm...when is my turn to write, i hope that our comm wrote the best out of it all, at least cannot lose to the first 2 badges hahax. (=.= what am i thinking.....) anw i think i am typing some of the things that the seniors wrote in the book on snco blog cause i think it is very useful. Their feelings of the SYF 3 years ago is all written in the book. I could really feel the happiness for them when they finally achieve what they had work so hard for. ‘ 期望越大，失望越大。’this is what their previous president told them. they prepared for the worse but at the same time they still hoped for something in return deep in their hearts. I truly respect the president leading the comm and co that time. whoever the person is, i salute you! you did a great job!

Somehow, in 2009, I truly hope that i can pen down the same feelings as you. The same feelings but different goal. This time we have to achieve even greater heights. The target is set as GWH. Can we make it there? The answer will only reveal itself next year but we must start working towards the answer this year.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:12 PM|

[[]]

ok i am going to blog about yesterday....

Friday
....had a sharing session yesterday with the sec 3s, was quite disappointing though or maybe i guess i wasnt good at persuading ppl or influencing ppl...the mood was quite bad.

Anyway, Boon came to my house. I wasn't really feeling well so i was not in the mood of welcoming a person to my house. nevertheless i did, i allow this little monkey to barge into my room. lol at least she is better than caroline who went to open all my cupboards,wadrobes and drawers..etc when she came to my house and do project that time! i am sorry yesterday if i keep saying that i want to sleep.

......I sent the monkey home at around 530? yup and when we were walking, we met this guy trying to sell us pens! lol 1 pen= $2.50. he said he was having a competition with his friend and that he was losing by 3 pens so he hoped that we could helped him. the problem is that i am very broke! i was robbed my jo on thur $10 for the rv ticket....so i brought 10 bucks to school again on fri, then this caroline took away $11 for connexions. Moreover, i am still oweing yuqi,jo and shir $2.60 in total....hmmm dont know why i am like so poor recently T.T My wallet is so empty! ...We thus turn down the offer from that guy then it started to rain.....

it was raining so heavily when we arrived at the bus-stop. i suddenly remembered that i hang my clothes outside the window. i borrowed boon's handphone and called my mum but she didnt pick up....she got this weird thinking, unless she is familiar with the number who just called, or else she dont bother to pick up =.=....same goes for the house phone....dont you think is so weird??! so she ususally dont pick up, it is always me answering the calls. so next time ppl, when you call my house number and nobody pick up, it is not taht no one is at home is just that only my mum is at home! ok back to my clothes, so yup it all went wet that day... :( even though my mum finally pick up my call after i called for dont know how long.

hmm..i guess i am just so suai that day.....dont know why but i am like so restless recently and EOYs is just round the corner....i havent started on a single thing yet. what on earth happen to you miss Wong Sock Yie???

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:49 PM|

Thursday, August 21, 2008

[[]]

CO prac on thur.....met up with the RV CO president. :) she was very friendly and cute hahax. jo and i were like thinking how she will look like, what instru she play....etc. in the end all wrong answer! well but it was really nice of her coming all the way down and we give her a packet of merci as a token of appreciation from SNCO.

I was really happy for the xiao that day :D xiao and dizi ppl! Well Done! You all really improve a lot compared to last week. i was closing my eyes when some of you are playing, nono..i am not sleeping but just enjoying the music :p....sounds peaceful. However we are definitely expecting more from you all! so 加油！you are surely can be better than that! Dont let your guards down ppl!

Have comm meeting on thur too, hmmm finally decide on a few names, hope we can really rely on them for the period of time. sec 1s, show me that you really care for CO, show me your passion for it. dont want to be disappointed again! oh and to the sec 2s comm: I am not going to reveal the secret! muhahah.... =.=! hopefully next thur you all get to know it, so bare with it for the time being! :)

ok now talk about 1 person. he is so irritating! this is the first time i hear a teacher say that! how could he say that! how could a teacher say: "dont do too much ok? like that is just enough. you dont have to put in so much effort." argh! i can never forgive him for saying that!!! if every teacher is like him i think all the schools in singapore can close down cause we dont need this kind of teacher in school to educate the students....well i shall ignore his words. i am going to find another person i tell her about the plan we are going to carry out, anyway in the first place she already agrees with the idea. Putting all my hopes in her maybe dangerous but i will still do it!

The last thing i am going to talk about for thur is the least thing that i want to say about...lol. that morning we had the handover in front of the whole school~~ i was quite scared though. Gloria's father drove us to school that day...(i am sorry taht i was late...sorry), my heart was pumping very hard during the journey....i was so afraid that later i forget to do this, forget to do that.....but in the end i think it still turn out quite well i guess. Best thing to say is that i got the pres book that day! :D i was wanteing to see that book hahax...cause it seemed so secretive!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:51 PM|

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

[[lighthouse....]]

i suddenly feel like posting another post! :)
so here it goes:

I suppose to pass this 'letter' to someone but in the end i fail to do so because i did not manage to complete it before she leave the school. When i try to dig out the letter i found that i have thrown it away....trying to recall it.......

我是一艘小帆，在小小的河面来回的穿行，自由自在，无拘无束。什么时候累了，想什么靠岸就什么时候靠岸，总是那么的随心所欲。虽然河很小，但我却觉得自己很幸福很幸福。在河面的来回穿行中，我发现了河的旁边有条小道。不知道她通往哪里，我多次在道口徘徊，总是看不清她的尽头。
有一天，因按耐不住心理的好奇,我展开了我的冒险旅途,向河流旁的小道划去。我带着好奇纯真的一颗心，用尽全身的力气，不停的往前划。划啊！划啊！不知道划了多久，也不知道漂流过多少地方，只觉得自己离那条熟悉的小河很远很远，只感觉自己再也回不去了。一路的漂流中我总是感到很害怕又寂寞, 但幸运的是因为不管什么时候，在离我不远的地方总有一座灯塔用全部的生命在为我照亮，为我守候，这样的待遇是我从来没有享受过的待遇。她总是在黑暗时发出强烈的光芒照料着我，替我遮风挡雨。在不知不觉中，在她的不断支持与照顾下，我已在海洋里生存了好多天,好多天......
但是，在美丽的另一边，有可怕的孤独，寂寞和无阻。当日子一天一天过去...灯塔渐渐老去, 她的身子从原本的纯白色变成暗灰色。前方的灯塔没有以前的那么明亮，难道她要走了吗？我反复的问自己，但总是不愿意想去答案，因为我害怕，害怕自己在黑漆漆的海面上再也找不到方向，还有谁又再来带我航行。她的忽明忽暗，隐隐约约，使我不知往前还是往后，是该向左还是向右。灯塔啊！灯塔！你什么时候能再为小帆更明亮些，再一次的带我航行。

well....the story ends here for today....to be continued.....

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|9:32 PM|

[[CO!!!]]

What a disappointing day it is. the only lucky thing i can say about is that there is no ting xie today cause i never study! it is being cancelled cause the teacher is not here today!

But it is indeed a disappointing day to know that there is something like this happening in the CCA. i could have done a better job. sort of got reprimanded by teacher. this is the first time ever that i got reprimanded by teacher since i became the pres. hmm..feel kind of down and sorry to the ppl out there who were affected. however this is a reminder: Please take good care of your belongings, dont leave it lying around. If you found things that are not suppose to be yours, please return it to the owner! DONT take it!!! Be honest!

haix...still very upset on the matter. dont question me what is it about. maybe in the first place i shouldnt blog about it either. 《四愁诗》i found this on the web cause i anyhow type 愁诗 hahax...lol i am being lame but in turn out that this poem is actually talking about the author missing someone deeply. hahax so it doesnt really suit me now eh? however i happen to find this---《离骚》hahax i also dont know what this got to do with 《四愁诗》. i didnt know 《离骚》is a poem too. i shall go read on that later. if you are thinking why is this weird person so interested in the poem then my answer to you is go understand more about waht is happening in chinese orchestras. :)

well i shall end here today, hope that everything tomorrow will go smoothly.....

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|6:16 PM|

Sunday, August 17, 2008

[[what should i do??? (Jap version)]]

私するべきであるものが知ってはいけない。私は私が気遣う誰かのための何かをされないのための悪い状態を感じる。すべての私の質問への答えおよび私はあなたのjieは白痴であると言うために残念であることを私が知らないようにない。多分私はそれから実質の1才である。とても怒っていている私のための問題は私がどうしても好む後輩を扱わなかったが、私が取り乱しているときそこに常にあること私が悲しいずっとそれどうかしてである常に本当そこにいるとき私が知っている誰かが私のためにのであり。何が起こるか私私に尋ねさせ続けたときに言う。私は私がちょうど余りに柔らかいことを考える。時々それはちょうど回り道であるために仮定するとき後輩のためにとても不可解先輩を世話するようである。

多分私はどうしても十分に細心ではない。ずっと私は非常に懸命に試みている。これは私のためテストであるか。但し私は私に与えられるテストを失敗し続けるちょうどとても物の言えないようである。私が言ってもいい1つの事は私が励ますのに使用した単語が約のあたりでちょうど私に戻るたくわえ行くことであり。私は自分自身私の自身の単語によって決して初めに私が他の人々をいかに確信させてもいいかそう確信する得ない。 haix….私は私は私の良い点を有するようにも私が自分自身に常に言うのにそのような失敗である。私が実際にこので非常によくないように私によってが幸せであるが、次の第2以内に誰かはちょうど私の良い点をたたき、私に言うようであるそれについて考える時。

" 人々がそれをすることができれば本当にI"はできる; それは私がずっと自分自身常に言っていることである。決して試みることを止めてはいけない….しかし私はちょうどころび続ける…. 私それにもかかわらず試みるべきであるか。

私はいかに私がよい側面にそれらに影響を及ぼすことを試みる間、人々が悪い側面の私に影響を及ぼすことを防いでもいいか。私はことそうする種類の潜在性持っているか。か。どうかしてそれはどうしても.....そうようではない: (

私は試みたすべてを….私はよい方法を意味するが、どうかして単語がまだ私を深く傷つけることを知っている。私は容易に傷である知り、明らかな方法で必要とする余分心配をない….良くあきらめてはいけない。私達が失おうと思っていること例えばテニスを、3倍に送る私を今日取りなさい。しかし私は知りなさい言わせ続けるちょうどマッチだけはまだ、そこにである行く他のマッチある。端まで結果はつまらない、そう何か。プロセスを楽しみ、それからの経験を得ることを持っている。上り一突きあなた自身および先読み。よくより前に遊ぶためにあなたの次のマッチに、先に見なさい。必要としたら、打ち切を取り、それ真新しいのとの後もどって来なさい!

"always look on the bright side of life! ~tate-tata-tete-teta~

時々事は箱から考えられればちょうどとても簡単である。自暴自弃は。従って私は余りに若者が私自分自身の表現で悪い常にので明白自分自身よく傾けたり、従って感じを罪があるように私すれば多くの人々を傷つける実際に残念な…原因、である。それにもかかわらず、私はあなたをまだあきらめていない! 私はまだ私が私達のもののこの友情をあきらめなければならなくても完全にするべき正しいことである私が知っているようにあなたの鋳造物を置くために煩わせる。私をこのような理由で無視するべきでも私はまだ私が同じを代わりに得なくても私はまだあなたを気遣うことを私が知っているので同じ決定をする。あなたの友人の福利を大事にすることは優先順位である。私はすべての私の時間をこれ価値がある人によってが親切な精神である原因無駄にしていない。そしてこれは私がリーダーシップ訓練のコースの間に自分自身のために作る約束である!

人は遇去に生きるものにあらず。今できることをやればいいのです。

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|11:13 PM|

[[what should i do???]]

dont know what should i do. i feel bad for not being able to do something for someone that i care for. is not like i dont know the answers to all my questions and i am sorry for saying that your jie is 白痴。perhaps i am then the real one. the problem for me being so angry is because i did not just treat you like a junior but someone who I know will be there for me when i am sad and it has somehow been always true that when i am upset you are always there. when you kept asking me what happen i will tell you. I think i am just too soft. sometimes it just seems so weird for a junior to take care of a senior when it suppose to be the other way round.

perhaps i am just not meticulous enough. I have been trying very hard. is this a test for me? however i just seems so dumb to keep failing the test that is given to me. one thing i can say is that the words that i have used to encourage you just goes round about and keep coming back to me. even i myself never get convince by my own words so how in the first place can i convince other people. haix....i am such a failure even though i always tell myself that i have my good points too. the moment i think of it I will be happy but in the next seconds someone will just seem to knock my good points down and tell me that actually you are not very good in this either.

"If people can do it, sure can I" that is what I have been always telling myself. Never stop trying....but I just keep falling down.... should I still try?

how can i prevent people from influencing me on the bad side while i try to influence them to the good side? will i have that kind of potential to do so?? somehow it just doesnt seem so.....:(

i have tried everything....i know you mean the good way but somehow the words still hurt me deeply. i know you are easily hurts and need extra care but not in an obvious way....dont give up ok. take for example the tennis today, you send me thrice that we are going to lose. but i keep telling you that know is just a match only, there is still the other match to go. Even till the end the results is disappointing, so what? you have enjoy the process and gain experience from it. pick yourself up and look ahead. look forward to your next match, to play even better than before. if you need to, take a break off and come back after that with a brand new you!

"always look on the bright side of life! ~tate-tata-tete-teta~

sometimes things are just so simple if you are able to think out of the box. dont 自暴自弃. i too cant express myself well, so if i make you feel guilty i am really sorry...cause since young i am always bad at expressing myself, thus hurting a lot of people. Nevertheless, i am not giving up on you yet! i will still be bugging you to put on your cast as i know that is definitely the right thing to do, even if i have to give up this friendship of ours. even if you were to ignore me because of this i will still make the same decision because i know i will still care for you even if i dont get the same in return. taking care of your friend's well-being is priority. i am not wasting my time, all this is worth it cause the person is a kind soul. And this is the promise that i make for myself during the leadership training course!

人は遇去に生きるものにあらず。今できることをやればいいのです。

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|9:09 PM|

Friday, August 15, 2008

[[Jolene birthday CELEBRATION!!]]

yoohoo!!! ~~~ hahax so happy today cause i went out with yu qi, shirlene & of course the main lead JOLENE! :D hehex tomorrow is her birthday so i shall wish her an early happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOLENE!

first time ever i step into sakae sushi. we ate buffet lunch. we went into the shop but gong gong one...dont know waht to do. the manager is a teenage girl who spikes her hair up so high! she look like a guy though. So young yet she is the manager. pro! so she explain to us the stuff then we started taking the plates of sushi from the "convyer belt". we started taking a lot of diff kinds of sushi. hahax me and jolene eat the most though and she drop a ball of rice to the ground! lolx we have a bowl of some kind of noddle-like thing. Jo ordered a bowl of miso soup to share we shirlene because they never tried before, in the end they only drank one spoonful of it...WASTE FOOD!

the best part of the buffet lunch should be the dessert! hahax it is so funny :D especially the STRAWBERRIES! i think now me and shirlene love strawberries very much!!! :) because it stands for 幸福. take a bite on the strawberry with white chocolate topppings you will have a 幸福的表情~~ so nice! we had this thing which contains ice cream inside. i called for peach flavour. yummy yummy....deliciouS! just love the peach teaste so much~~

now the moment everyone was waiting for! jo's eating her mango sorbert cake. although it was a small one, it took her quite a while to eat like a 淑女 hahax they say she need to attend social ettique, actually not so bad la. so dont worry too much jo! :p we took a video of her eating but not sure if i can post a not.....the next video will be on yu qi! hahax

Leaving the sakae we went to shop around a bit. we went to mini toons---looking at accessories, comic collection---accessories and saw lots of raes! hahax then went to action city---saw the radio, massager and the smell of bread! hehex i failed to trick shirlene into pulling the electric shock chewy gum cause i forgot to cover the word "shock" on it =.= haix....shi bai... oh and 1 funny matter happen at the action city. yu qi wanted to go toilet then ask shirlene if she wants to go a not, in the end shirlene was saying out like that she wants to go PEE. hahax i bet everyone in the shop heard her! >.<

from saying going to toilet we went to the shop sembawang. i spotted this box of free posters so i told them about it. we didnt really believe it was free at first until jo went to ask the shopkeeper. looking through all the posters, we chose a few out of it, we even choose for xin ru can! an unpleasant situation happen though when this shop assistant came to tell us not to open all the posters, since they were all free we should just take and go!!! how can she say that when we didnt do it on purpose, we just want to take the poster out to bring home and not mean to open all to spoil it. you cant possibly take 4 same posters home right? you need to roll out to take 1 home then put another 1 back what!

oh well after this we then went to toilet!
Home sweet Home~~~<3

it was fun to go out with yu qi, jolene & yu qi today! hahax hope to go out more often after EOYs-------KBOX, bowling, ice skating?...etc of all the things jo listed out!

i shall go bathe le....stinky from the basketball prac. oh and after that was the sec 2 sharing session.......

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:12 PM|

Thursday, August 14, 2008

[[another day....]]

i guess i am like posting everyday....today was a day i will never forget.....i guess....i dont know what was i angry about....i think i will never know.

haix how could someone not understand herself well? sometimes i really hate myself ...hate meself for not helping a person enough....hate myself for not scoring enough....hate myself for perharps not working extra hard enough,if not just a little bit more and i will make it.... also, hate myself for not making a better impact on other people's mind....hate myself for not performing my task well.....most importantly, hate myself for not doing anything well.......

nothing is worth for me to be proud of myself.....nothing....sigh....
i once heard a person say, 越华丽，越光彩亮丽的外表，其实内心深处他是很寂寞，很孤独，是最需要被照顾的那个。 hmmm...seems somewhat true too. lol...what am i thinking....

祝你早日康复！

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:46 PM|

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

[[恶魔在身边心情大解放]]

今天终于大哭一场，心情舒畅好多! 好久没有这样解放自己的情绪,所以感觉格外的清爽! 哈哈! 应该没有人会像我这样吧? 大哭一场后感到而外的开心.....不.....不应该说是开心.....应该是心情大解放,一次过把一切一切的担忧和烦恼都化作泪水, 放声大哭出来! 我好久好久都没有这么做了..... 不过听人说这样好像很伤身吧! 可是我却觉得那是可以把我从忧愁中解脱的唯一方法....

当然也许你会有不一样的方法,比如呐喊. 把所有的烦恼或对同学的不满都大声地喊出来这或许也是一种发泄情绪的好方法.....

发泄情绪的方法有好几百种,可是要懂得正确的方法哦. 利用正确的管道来抒发自己的情绪是很重要的.

希望每个人能找到自己抒发情绪的方法. 不然会的内伤! :P

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:56 PM|

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

[[Worried.........]]

Today is tue, and as usual i have my co prac. i dont know why but i kind of look forward to the co prac today, maybe because i know i am ready to teach my juniors, i am ready to accept any challenges that is coming my way! i prac during the week ends!! :D

nevertheless, today prac still fail...i targeted to complete part 7...in the end part 6 also not finish yet...haix...what i can i say. well i can see that they are trying their best but still not hard enough. what can i do to improve there...i ahve been racking my brains hard.

Apart from this, what else can i do to make an impact in ppl's life. "Living and leaving a Legacy" that is what i learn in the leadership course. it really makes a deep impact on me. it strike with a question on "so what can i leave for co?" that is the question i ask myself. finally i got an answer, under than imparting what i have learn on my juniors, i really hope that i can give something to co...for example maybe after renovation, we have our own room or another thing i wish for is that our school can open co as a DSA option for students. this will help to strengthen co more! hmmm...are all these relly realistic?? the coach that time did really make her "dreams" come true but can i really too? does the sch really allows? she was the president of council and the captain of her badminton team! i really dont know...however i will try my best to really make it true. one day hopefully it will not just be fantasy ideas!

Ganbate!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:29 PM|

Monday, August 11, 2008

[[First day...]]

Today is the first time i am posting on this blog! hahax anw after a long week end of break..i still did not complete my homework :( haix why am i so lazzzyyy....in the end the thing i did most was watching dvd... hehex i am not telling you the title of the show! :P

oh and i finish watching 2 ep of ming zhong zhu ding. it has been becoming quite naggy...well there are a lot more shows waiting for me to go watch but what are the chances for me to complete them within a day?
no no...must concentrate one studies!!! there are so many things you need to do before youself. Family, CO, yang qin, studies, friends, council....then yourself! (not in particular order)!

加油吧,黄淑懿! 勇敢地向前迈进!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|8:10 PM|