[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Sunday, August 17, 2008

[[what should i do???]]

dont know what should i do. i feel bad for not being able to do something for someone that i care for. is not like i dont know the answers to all my questions and i am sorry for saying that your jie is 白痴。perhaps i am then the real one. the problem for me being so angry is because i did not just treat you like a junior but someone who I know will be there for me when i am sad and it has somehow been always true that when i am upset you are always there. when you kept asking me what happen i will tell you. I think i am just too soft. sometimes it just seems so weird for a junior to take care of a senior when it suppose to be the other way round.

perhaps i am just not meticulous enough. I have been trying very hard. is this a test for me? however i just seems so dumb to keep failing the test that is given to me. one thing i can say is that the words that i have used to encourage you just goes round about and keep coming back to me. even i myself never get convince by my own words so how in the first place can i convince other people. haix....i am such a failure even though i always tell myself that i have my good points too. the moment i think of it I will be happy but in the next seconds someone will just seem to knock my good points down and tell me that actually you are not very good in this either.

"If people can do it, sure can I" that is what I have been always telling myself. Never stop trying....but I just keep falling down.... should I still try?

how can i prevent people from influencing me on the bad side while i try to influence them to the good side? will i have that kind of potential to do so?? somehow it just doesnt seem so.....:(

i have tried everything....i know you mean the good way but somehow the words still hurt me deeply. i know you are easily hurts and need extra care but not in an obvious way....dont give up ok. take for example the tennis today, you send me thrice that we are going to lose. but i keep telling you that know is just a match only, there is still the other match to go. Even till the end the results is disappointing, so what? you have enjoy the process and gain experience from it. pick yourself up and look ahead. look forward to your next match, to play even better than before. if you need to, take a break off and come back after that with a brand new you!

"always look on the bright side of life! ~tate-tata-tete-teta~

sometimes things are just so simple if you are able to think out of the box. dont 自暴自弃. i too cant express myself well, so if i make you feel guilty i am really sorry...cause since young i am always bad at expressing myself, thus hurting a lot of people. Nevertheless, i am not giving up on you yet! i will still be bugging you to put on your cast as i know that is definitely the right thing to do, even if i have to give up this friendship of ours. even if you were to ignore me because of this i will still make the same decision because i know i will still care for you even if i dont get the same in return. taking care of your friend's well-being is priority. i am not wasting my time, all this is worth it cause the person is a kind soul. And this is the promise that i make for myself during the leadership training course!

人は遇去に生きるものにあらず。今できることをやればいいのです。

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|9:09 PM|