[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Friday, September 26, 2008

[[1 week after eoys started.....]]

Wheee~~~~ it is 1 week after eoys.....Eng language, Elec history, E.math, Chemistry & Chinese Paper (1) are all over....yay....JIA YOU JUST 2 MORE WEEKS TO GO!!! GO GO GO GO!!! :D

I have a lot to post since I 1 week never post le. hahax maybe because it is now exam period so the thing sort of died down as everyone are exploded with knowledge so no one has the time to think of other things. (too many things to memorise!) well I think today's chem paper can fail le...didnt even finish....haix so slow...same goes for history....:( Actually I didnt put in much effort in revising these 2 subjects cause I was busying studying math. I think putting Chemistry at the end of the week was a bad choice. Everyone is already so tired out by all the mugging during the first 4 days and the last paper of the week was CHEM?! and is so difficult...so obvious that it got to be mostly set by alex teo....so hard to do. It was his style of writing that is what everyone says. And hahax have a little celebration with Glog, ah Shuang and Zhi Yi today at macx near our house for working so hard these few days. It has really been a long time since we sat down together and chatted happily. So long...~~~ so it feels great today when we take our own sweet time to eat, to walk then talk.. :D so happy!

(go dental....come back 20 mins later...)

Back! :) ok the dental visit was fine today lol. the next visit is going to be 30mins...i dont know why. Anw this is the schedule for next week's exam:
26/9-Geography(8a.m-10a.m)
2/10-Physics(8a.m-10a.m)
3/10-Socials Studies(8a.m-9.30a.m)
6/10- A.Maths(8a.m-10.15a.m) & Chinese Paper(II)(11.15a.m-1.15p.m)

As you can see, on 6/10, Friday is the longest paper. yup ok so jia you for all these upcoming papers! Good luck everyone!

Talk exams, I have to say, I am like a panda now....never see myself have such serious dark eyes circles and more pimples....haix hope that after eoys it will go away. Oh and recently my back is like so pain...dont know why, maybe because I am not sleeping in the correct position. I am like sleeping in a weird position as I am dozing off to sleep anywhere....then after that wake up to study. Sometimes dozing off to sleep again...hopefully it will become better after eoys!

Now lets talk about after exams!! Whoo!! I have many post exams activities that I organise for myself. hehex going out to shop with a lot of people. With glog they all and xin ru&jogo, yq outing! cousins most likely will meet up too, maybe go out with line(but I haven ask yet,cause you this person....haix dedicate a para to you later!)....etc I want to have a comm outing too! wonder if it will be a success. 2 camps to attend to. 1 is co camp the other one is co leadership camp. Not forgetting before all this I have yq exam! (good luck!) Apart from these, I am going to learn cooking from everyone I know; still have stitching to complete and going to swim every sat again with qiu hua! :) lets see if i miss out anything....hmmm....well lastly I plan to revise for sec 3 work and still got other co things to do...Oh and I going to watch drama shows too! hehex my fav. That will be my entertainment. I guess that is all, I maybe going oversea with my parents for about 5 days? not sure yet, they every time say then in the end never go...=.= Hope that this year holiday is going to be very different for the past few years. I want it to be an enriching and fun holiday. (Updating on this part again after eoy!)

As promise to caroline, yes you! miss the exams for 2 straight days lying in the hospital again. hahax luckily I got spy to tell me you went in. lol Just hope that you have a speedy recovery. Listen to the doctor's words! He ask you rest more then you rest more ba. (If you dont then I will sneak into the staff room and pass a letter to gwong ok hehehehx.) Haix you have such a bad health. Want go swimming with me next time hahax can keep you healthy! 0.0 After eoy when you healthy le then go out with me ok? I am quite bored in sch recently...Think of a place first since you have nothing to do now. Get well soon!!!

That all for today I think. Continue to work hard more, so that you wont disappoint yourself and other people that have faith in you. Go GO GO GO!!!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|3:26 PM|

Saturday, September 20, 2008

[[An unforgettable incident....]]

It has been 4 days already....4 days I have not been studying and eoys is just 3 days from now....how?! It is not that I dont want to study, is just that I cant concentrate because that matter is distracting me....No matter how hard I try not to think about it, it just keep poping out of nowhere.

Just how many times I am going to cry over this and yet the person still can concentrate in her studies and turning everyone against me, planting spies around me...and you scolded the f***ers at me yesterday out loud, just because you cant see the chem CA results that I have put in between your table and my table. After that there was like the eng CA results passing around and yet after you signed you just purposely passed it to another person. If you can scold me the f*** word just because you cant see the chem paper then why do you have to purposely dont let me sign for the eng one? you are like just scolding yourself right? Why do you have to make the class split into half? Why do you want people to choose either they stand at your side or my side? WHY??! Our class is already not bonded enough, there is only slight improvement after the camp, so why now do you still have to make everyone caution of what they are saying? Both of us are in the wrong. I am wrong because in the first place I am so dump for not thinking that this is a blog, anyone can come and view, I didnt expect my classmates to come and view it because I never told them that I have a blog! So I shouldnt have put up that post.

However the person who spreaded it around is in the wrong too. If you knew that this is going to be a big issue why must you still tell her? You can just keep quiet about it, in the first place why must you tell her what I wrote when you are not so close to her after all and is only because of the incident then you all are...Althoug you are not the direct person who told her but after that you were the one who give her 'updates' as quoted. Can I still believe what you say on that telephone call? What you are doing doesnt tele to waht you are saying.....I am not saying that you have to help me but are you helping us to resolve the conflict between me and her? It means that you are standing on the neutral line and not siding anyone. Are you? Looking at you 2 changing place sitting at the back yesterday, it will make people think otherwise...

Finally is you. You are in a wrong too right? Until now I have not do anything about the issue yet. I have not apologised or confronted you. But I know that the longer this issue stays on, the longer the situation will stay unfavourable to me. Everyone just listen to what you have told them out there. If all you want is winning, fine you win? but i dont know what is your meaning of winning? Is it the meaning that, oh sock yie apologised to me, she admits that she is in the wrong? Is this really what you want? Then what will happen after that? For the upcoming 1 year we are going to stare at each other in class isit?? Do you really sit and think? If revenge is really what you want then can you do it 光明正大? Dont keep doing so many 小动作 behind my back. If a sorry is what you want then can you aprroach me and tell me that you demand an apology?

I have been thinking these 4 straight days on how to resolve the problem. I am like not even paying attention in class recently, and I am so sorry for those people who are affected....to yiing huey: sorry for bothering you all the time because you are just sitting diagonally behind and I think taht you are the only one that I can trust now looking at the people around me(literally). I really envious you now, looking at you mugging so hard for the exams, you will really do well! and to weiling: sorry for causing you trouble to change place in class because she ask you to do so. to goon: for understanding what happen to me without even me saying...to sharlyn: thankx for always sitting at the 'spectator stand', and also for listening to my complains. ...last but not least to line: thank you for being always there for me. I know this thing affected you a lot and I have been trying not to bother you everytime...but there is no one I can look for in class le...I really hope that in the end your friendship will still last with her. ...and finally to everyone( my seniors, juniors, xin ru and jo) who have encourage me all this time.

Whenever I was about to forget this matter, you will constantly remind me about it. Why? cant you stand in my shoe to think that actually you have done something wrong too? Someone has been asking me to stand in your point of view, I have done that, have you? and what have get in return of that? nothing. I have been thinking of ways to solve this but you are thinking of ways to make it go worse. dont you think so? you are just trying to make everyone know about it and so, what do you get? support for all you have done? cheer for you?

This is just a small matter that evolve to a conflict between 2 person just because of a blog post. I cant differentiate who is right and wrong now because she has the capability, 把黑的说成白的. I have reach my limitations I guess, so I have told line what I have decided to do because that seems to be the only solution now....

这件事将是我一辈子都不会忘记的。我想我跳进黄河也洗不清这个误会。

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:43 AM|

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

[[]]

果然，一个打从心里小小的鼓励，诚心诚意的，就能轻易地感动我，温暖我的心。谢谢你！

接下来，是老师要我们在CME时写的，对于今年的反思和明年的期望...

这一年做了很多事，也学到很多。不仅是在学业上，朋友之间与家人都有很大的收获。

这一年过得特别的快，现在就快要年终考了，然后就是“O”水准华文。一年就这样结束了，开学后就是中四生。我认为今年我的学业成绩不佳，各科都没有达到我的标准。时间和自律是我的问题。我的时间总是分配的不好，对自己少了点儿自律，造成我几乎常赶不完功课。虽功课仍有准时交，但那并非放了一百个心思去完成的，平时的考试似乎也是如此。因此我希望藉由十二月假期的时间，改掉这个缺点，找回以前有自律的我！

除了功课以外，当然就是我的朋友和我的课外活动--华乐。我的好友多数是和我来自同一个课外活动的。因为今年刚身任团长，还有很多有待进步的空间。有人曾说，我们只有一年的时间来带领自己的课外活动走向最高峰，所以要好好把握这一年的时间，不能轻易地让它流失。现在已过了大约半年的时间，我也只剩下半年的时间继续为华乐尽心尽力。幸亏在这段期间里有很多好友在身边的支持，我才能不断地向前走。

再来就是我的家人。因为今年哥哥服兵役，把我们全家的凝聚力加强了。大家都好想念他哦! 家里因为少了一个人而变得更团结。感情也似乎比以前好很多。真希望永远是这样子!

迈向2009~~~~~~~

明年是关键的一年。除了忙碌还是忙碌。撇开学业不说，明年将在年中举行的SYF Competition，真是令人感到焦虑不安。大家都期望能够赢得荣誉金。我自己呢，就根之前说的一样，希望我会变得更有自律和时间观念，跟用功。总之，曾经努力过，就不会后悔。

加油加油!!!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|5:48 PM|

[[]]

I will still post what I wanted to post today, when I was writing out my draft in class (bay saw it!) but it will be in another post!
(Listen to this song when you are reading this. It is so just nice that it was playing this song when I type this...Sarang Hal Gge, found at the bottom part of the playlist...it reflects my mood...)

...I suppose to be quite happy today...until something happened just right after school........maybe I shouldnt have step into the class at that point of time.....maybe I shouldnt....I should have talked to my friend longer....then I wont see that scene and hear those words....

People around me are so scary, they may be smiling to you but actually they are not. They may seem friendly to you but actually is just the opposite of it. 知人知面不知心....笑里藏刀....it gives me creeps~~~

It is just so hard to ignore all those things that people say. The feeling is strange. I have never ever felt like this before. Not ever in my life I doubt myself so much. Previously was a challenge for me to make a decision, and I sort of regret it the next day. I tried my best to convince myself that it was a decision that I made by myself after all. And now here comes another. I am uncertain that I still have enough strength to overcome this. I am exhausted...but I know I cannot be because there are still so many things waiting for me to do.

I have mixed emotions now, worries, nervousness....'Is either you private it or you delete that post!', 'Is your own blog you can do whatever you want!', '...but whatever decision you make, 后果自负...' these are just some of the comments I got. '...but by privating the blog, is as if you are in the wrong...' haix...so you all should know what is my final decision. Yes, I private it...

I dont understand why?! Is just a blog with a normal post which doesnt hurt anyone, am I in the wrong?...maybe I am... I have never been put into this kind of situation in my life, at least not hearing a big group of people gossiping at the same time about me...especially one which is named on the previous post.

Well I bet you are puzzled about what I am talking about. Well basically is just that I always thought that my blog was low profile, no one will come and visit it. Surprisingly until today then I know that the most recent thing in my class was to go dig for my blog. The previous post might have contributed to it I guess...I am not sure if it was right to link people without telling them but all I could say that it was for my own convenience. It is not like I dont want my classmates to view it, is just that i dont want HER to view it. Bad things spread at an unbelievable speed.

Oh well, I shall end here today and to people who are reading this post now, a very big thank you to you as this is now an officially private blog. You people are the ones that make me still believe that there is still people that I can trust on and believe in. I am not sure when is this thing going to end but I hope that it is as soon as possible....
why does this thing have to happen to me?~~~ can anyone help me?~~

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|3:46 PM|

Monday, September 15, 2008

[[Bad day in school]]

This is really going to be my last year that I am doing this! I am going to resign, getting myself out of this trouble. You can say that it is irresponsible, you can say that i am a scaredy-cat or useless! WHATEVER! I dont care and I am going to do it before you line!!!

To all people out there that is taking on to this challenge, good luck to you and dont be like me. Hope that you can become a great one. Anw i bet i have said over 100 times...ssshhh...ssshhh...ssshhh......today. At least once every min.

Frustrated!!!~~~RAH! That why i hate to come school now!!! Well just how many people can really understand me in class? I can just use my left hand to count...Ok lets not side track, see just what trouble I have landed myself in for taking up this job. I am not saying taht i dont like whoever that is reading this post now, is just that the hatred of someone or something simply overwhelmes everything...

The ozone layer is depleting again.....as the hole gets bigger by all the pollutions......

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|5:03 PM|

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

[[say bye bye to beijing....]]

Byeee Beijing....再见....さようなら....안녕....Auf Wiedersehen....au revoir....

495 is a number that I will never forget from now on. I should not be sad in the first place because afterall, this is my decision. A decision that i have make after much consideration. However somewhere in my heart just doesnt feel right. Indeed we learn in our CME that it is not easy to make a decision. There will never be a politically right answer. Once you have make up your mind believe in yourself and you should never regret it as that is what you have decided to do.

It was a golden opportunity and I was hoping to find something from there, the answer that i have been seeking for so long and yet there was no reply. I sort of convince myself that I need not travel so far to seek for it. I wonder how long do I still need to get the correct answer...

Oh well lets just set aside this thing and talk about what happen today. It was a busy day today. Morning after morning jog, I ran all the way back to class again to open door, then get ready for A.Math test. I can say that it is an easy paper which I never study well. Wonder how my brain workds?? Why I am like so stupid at times? Actually what I need is just time. Plenty of time. Can you donate time to me?? If only I have a time machine....Anyway after that we had 听写. I was quite happy that once again I can write for 听写 again because I didnt study for the past 2 but i forgot 1 造句....haix. ok LAstly, is the 'O' level Chemistry SPA!!! just pray hard that I only minus 1 mark...i beg. Miss Lee please minus 1 mark will do ok? Argh the bunsen burner! YOU BETTER LIGHT UP THE NEXT TIME!

~~~ok need to go prepare tomorrow's mock chinese! MUST SCORE WELL!! 加油!!!

Well apparently someone cheated but I didnt say anything. Heh SUCH a NICE councillor am i right?! *puke* I doubt she will see this post anyway. So everyone please help me keep a secret ok? Sorry to say this but I never see such a thick-skinned person before, to ask me "oi the 默写 last 2 words are what?" Shameless! Is good enough for me to teach you write 1 word alrady l, still ask for more! And when I say I not suppose to tell you, you say you are such a weird person. Isnt it so unfair to me who took time off to study 听写 yesterday and didnt study A.Math?! I saw you peeping at my paper and the 听写 paper that you hide in your bag and you peep in whenever the teacher turns around. Why must you everytime say so much things to hurt me so deeply. Then everytime I rebutt you, you will just simply say" haix, cant even take jokes. " Everytime you will pick on. You disturb me during lesson, making me not able to pay attention! NVM! That time when I didnt want to help you, you say" aiyo no wonder so many people dont want to sit with you!" Must you really be so sacarstic everytime?! Are you only happy when you make me so sad. NVM! What is so ashame to ask teacher question when you dont understand? Is your own fault for not listening, i dont mind helping you but ask in a nicer tone? It is not compulsory for me to teach you! Have you ever help me? "greedy!" "selfish!"...IS ALL YOU SAY ABOUT ME! I have never ever come across a person like YOU! To people who see this, may be you will just think that aiya this is just a small matter, i shouldnt be writing so exaggerating. However I only can say if only you are in my situation. You can say that she is just playful but I will never agree to taht excuse. Many times, I told myself that I shouldnt even be bother by waht this person is saying, even if it is true. I just cant do it as there always a limitation to one's tolerence! If only someone really understands....this is the first time i really dislike someone so much. It is very painful, very very painful. My heart just hurt so much that is like the depleting of the ozone layer. It will take a long time before it will recover to its original state. Nevertheless I will wait till the arrival of that day. ...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|6:12 PM|

Thursday, September 4, 2008

[[EOYs]]

Eoy is just round the corner! yet i haven really started on a single subject! Wong Sock Yie what have you been doing?! must be watching tv and shows!...

well today I am very happy even though i never study anything cause i went to the bank and learn a lot of stuff! hahax never knew that someone could stay in the bank for like around 2h++ hehex. I make an investment today and make a card! but anyway i cant use it lolx my mum dont allow. oh and i bought a art material today. i wanted to give it to someone as birthday present but it is just too big. so i will have to think of another present. hmph when i finish my 作品 then i will take a pic to show everyone!

ciaos~~

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|7:14 PM|