[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Day Dream? haha sometimes I wonder what would happen if I am not in JC. What if I am doing something related to music. Will I feel happier?

I remember when I was in primary school, there was this instant when I aspire to be a music teacher. But you know, anyone can be a primary school music teacher but not in secondary.

Teachers,friends,parents in primary school always ask, do you know how to play the piano. *Shakes her head* "But your fingers and nice and long~Your hands are bigger than mine. It would be good that you know how to play the piano. What a waste!" I hear that frequently. I can only smile as a form of reply.

Pianos are too expensive. It was around the period of time that tuition business grew and same goes for private lessons such as piano,drawing,er hu etc. Parents will send their children to classes or hire private tutors for them just to allow them to gain a few new skills as compared to the kid next door. Most of the time, they attended the classes unwillingly. I have not attended a single class before until when I reach Sec 1. I had my very first private lesson. I was nervous. Even after 2 years, I will still feel nervous whenever I have my private lessons. haha I will break into cold sweat. I will want to act like I was ill so that I could cancel the lesson for that day but of course, most of the time I didnt. Fees were too expensive to play around and the fact that lessons should always be treated seriously, push me to my 'limits'. Whatever it is, truly, I enjoyed the times when I was in contact with music. Whenever I thought that I would be having a hard time later, at the end of the lesson, I end up enjoying it. And you know what? I will be sweaty after the 1 hour lesson. haha Exercise eh? haha I was 'losing weight'!

Really really, truly enjoy it.

Seems like time is travelling back... ...my last solo performance on stage was P5? In school? or should it be Sec 3 in the forum? haha as compared to that, I guess the one in Khatib vacant space was a bigger scale? Oh, or should it be the one at some CC dinner that Zhou Lao Shi invited me to? There's still 1 more at some church though. haha Was it? Suddenly so many flash backs...so many memories... ...just like the melody of the song flowing in my mind from the drama Nodame Cantabile. So soothing~ So calm~ so relax~ Expressive. Beethoven Symphony No. 7 in A major Op.92 1st movement.

I don't know much about music. I wish I could have learnt more. I really hope to but I guess I didint have the courage to make that a decision that time. I didnt believe in myself and didnt have the courage to. I didnt dare to dream. Probably that's why I am so lost now. No directions. No dream. Because my first dream can never be fulfilled now.